


Babies

by dannihowell (iguessicantry)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, kid!phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 14:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iguessicantry/pseuds/dannihowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan overhears the adults talking about making babies. He soon believes he and Phil have made a huge mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Babies

Confusion makes for the silliest situations. Karla Howell was about to become very aware of that fact. Her young son, Dan, and his friend (her godson) Phil were playing one morning when Dan overheard the conversation that he shouldn’t have.

Karla and Phil’s mother, Erin, were sipping on their coffee one morning, gossiping as you do with your lifelong friend.

“I heard Lindsey’s girl is pregnant.”

“Lindsey’s girl? Little Becky? She’s only 14, isn’t she?”

“Yes, but she isn’t so little anymore. Seven months along.”

“Babies having babies…” Erin sighed. “I worry about my girls sometimes, you know? When should I let them start dating and all that?”

“Dating really isn’t the problem,” Karla murmured suggestively. “It’s all that kissing and hugging and well… boom! Baby…” She gestured wildly with her hands.

Erin laughed quietly. “I’m sure there’s more to it than that.”

“Well yeah,” Karla continued. “You have to kiss and hug a _boy_.”

“Karla!” Erin giggled. “I want to see you having ‘The Talk’ with your boys.”

“Oh no! Their father’s going to handle that… I’m off the hook unless we have a girl.”

Dan’s eyes widened. 'So that’s where babies come from?’ he thought to himself. He had always wondered because his little brother came out of nowhere. Daddy said something about a stork, a big bird that drops babies off at people’s houses. That didn’t make any sense to Dan though because why did his mummy have to go to the hospital if a bird was supposed to come. He shook his head at his father’s logic. His mummy also got really big in her tummy and she said that’s where the baby was. That also didn’t make any sense because his mummy wouldn’t eat a baby! His mummy was much too nice to do something so horrible.

“Babies get inside when you hug and kiss a boy! Like magic!” Dan thought aloud. Then his eyes went wide because that very morning Phil, Dan’s best friend in the entire world, accidentally kicked him when they were playing karate and to make Dan feel better, gave Dan a hug and kissed his boo boo.

Dan went back into the playroom, running and shouting for Phil. He forgot the rules this one time about not running in the house but this was an emergency.

“Phil!” Dan said, grabbing Phil’s attention away from the Lego blocks.

“Yeah?”

“I’m pregnant!”

Phil said nothing. He only tilted his head to the left and then to the right. “You aren’t a mummy though.”

“No, I’m a daddy! 'member when you kissed my boo boo?” Phil nodded. “And then you hugged me so I wouldn’t cry no more?” Phil nodded again. “That’s how you make a baby!”

“Really?” asked Phil surprised. “I thought you had to be in a bed or something.”

“You’re so silly, Phil!” Dan exclaimed. “You don’t have to be in bed to make a baby.”

Phil thought and then agreed with a nod. “What are you gonna do?”

“You mean, 'What are _we_ gonna do.’”

“I do?”

“Yes, you are the reason I’m having this baby!” Dan exclaimed, pointing to his flat tummy.

“I didn’t know I was doing that!”

“That’s no excuse, Philip!”

Phil pouted. “Don’t call me that. I don’t like it, Daniel,” he whined, sticking out his tongue. Dan pursed his lips together and turned away. He wasn’t going to look at Phil if he wasn’t going to be nice to him.

“When will the baby come?” Phil asked in a quiet voice. Dan still wouldn’t turn around. “Dan!” he pleaded. “Don’t do that…”

“Don’t stick your tongue out at me.”

“Don’t call me Philip.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” With that Phil grabbed some of the cushions strewn across the room. They were all sorts of colors like blue, green and purple. “Dan, you should sit down. I saw this on the telly. When you’re having a baby, you need to sit or your feets will blow up.”

Dan nodded and sat down on the mess of cushions. Phil then grabbed some of the play food from the miniature grocery store Dan’s mum had bought him for Christmas.

“You’re supposed to eat weird stuff too,” Phil told him, handing Dan the fake pizza and ice cream.

“Shouldn’t I eat real food? It’s not pretend, Phil!”

Exasperated, Phil agreed and sprinted into the kitchen to get what Dan needed. Their mummies were still talking so he made sure to stay quiet and not interrupt. Taking out the step stool, Phil went into the cupboard. He came out with chocolate chip cookies, pickles and a bottle of mustard.

Erin watched her son’s movement from the moment he entered the kitchen. Upon seeing his bounty she said, “Phil, what are you doing with all that?”

“Um… Dan needs it,” he answered genuinely.

“Why is that?” Karla asked next.

“He’s meant to be eating weird things like this,” Phil said.

“Why, dear?”

“He’s going to have a baby.”

The two mothers looked at each other with furrowed brows.

“What makes you say that?” Erin asked her boy.

“He says he is pregnant because of some stuff I did.”

Karla said, struggling to breathe from keeping in her laughter, “What did you do, Phil?”

Looking guilty, Phil muttered, “I kissed his boo boo and gave him a hug to make him feel better. Dan said that’s how you make babies, with kisses and hugs.”

Both women tried their hardest to stifle their laughter as they followed Phil back into the playroom to straighten this out. When they got their Dan was rearranging the cushions so he could be more comfortable.

“Daniel, love, you are not having a baby,” Karla said picking him up easily as he was still quite small. “You were listening to our conversation earlier, weren’t you?”

Dan nodded and told his mother, “You said hugging and kissing boys makes babies.”

“No, honey. I was just telling a made up story, like a fairy tale… I was just trying to make Auntie Erin laugh. Do you understand?”

Dan thought for a moment then asked, “Then how do you make babies?”

“With lots of love and being old enough,” she said, not really prepared to tell her four year old about all of this. Plus, her husband already agreed to handle the sex talk with the boys. Thank God.

“I’m not going to be a daddy?” Dan asked sadly.

“No, not now. Maybe when you’re big like Daddy.”

“Okay,” he said with understanding. “Can we go play now?”

Karla let him down and watched as he and Phil joined hands and ran out into the back garden to play.

Erin giggled, going back into the kitchen. Karla poured her another cup of tea and asked what was so funny.

“You know, I thought he would be at least 16 before something like this happened. I didn’t expect Phil’s first pregnancy scare to be at the age of five!”

They both burst into a fit of laughter. Soon, they were both settled down and gossiping once more. They both would remember this incident and mock their boys in their teen years. Neither woman could hardly wait.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr  
> [danni-howell](https://danni-howell.tumblr.com/)


End file.
